I will try...to fix you...

I find myself not being able to sleep again. Why did this day take a turn for the worst?

If these walls could talk,
They'd be screaming loud.
Oh won't you take it all,
Please take it all from me now.

This is a mad house.
I'm trapped with smoke and mirrors.
It's all an illusion.
I'm lost in confusion.

It's very short but I wrote it, i'll add more to it. But ugh honestly I'm so tired of the yelling and fighting. My aunt and uncle are at it 24/7. He has no respect for her...AT ALL. He's hit her before too and yet she goes back every single time. It's ridiculous. They're not very good parents either. and because they have no many problems it puts like everyone else in a bad mood.
This makes me really NOT want to get married either, I mean...I don't want a relationship, let along a marrige like that. I don't want to fight constantly or get hit or just have so many problems. I want what I deserve, but so did she and she didn't get that. Who's to say I will? I know it's silly to think these things, but so what. I don't want to end up like her settling for something so terrible.
Something like my grandparents is what I'd like. They're still IN love. They have passion and romance and love. My aunt should have that. Blegh. I'm young though. Why am I even thinking about any of this? Hmm... I assume it's this old soul of mine. I love my life and the here and now, but I feel this isn't exactly my scene. I do like to go out sometimes, but I'd be just as happy sitting around the house reading a book or something. Wow. I'm so boring. When I'm older, I bet i'll lead the most boring life too. I mean...not really because so much would have happened..but come the nights it's like every now and then I'll go out, but..ah...I'm shutting up now.


I could write so much about you and how amazing I think you are..but I don't want to sound repetitive and annoying. I mean yes I want you to know, but do you really want to read it like alllllll the time. You'll just be like Damn, this girl needs to hop off. ( I mean probably not, but whatever it's a passing thought) However I'd tell you everyday of forever if I could. Ah geez, there I go again. I'm going to quit talking now forreal. Probably be best if I go to sleep.

I guess I can still say that I miss you. Yup. that I don't mind saying. okay, now I'm done.


*Dream Outloud*