Don't talk just..... (rant and rave all you want it's not like anyone will hear you..pt.3)

You're a waste of thought, energy, emotion and tears. Do you know that? Am I "the bitch" because I stood up for myself? Because I realized I didn't want a fucking relationship based on physicality and moments?? WHERE AM I WRONG!?!?! Please. Tell me. I'm begging you. Tell me how I'm the bad guy in this. Pretend that you cared about me enough to be really "hurt" and "broken hearted" by any of this. I'm pullin out the Bullshit card on this one. Wanna know why?? Because if you honestly "wanted to be with me so badly that you'd fight for me, you'd fight for us" Then why the FUCK have you just stopped fighting?? I gave you a second chance. I had this huge open window for you to decide what you really wanted and it turned out it wasn't me. I should've known from the start that it wasn't.

You got pissed at me because of what I have with Garrett, when you have the same exact thing with her. I know in a heartbeat if she ever decided to like you, you would drop me in a heartbeat. I know all of these truths and YET i'm STILL letting you get to me. Am I messed up or what?? I mean seriously. You don't talk to me, look at me,anything.

All I wanted was to start over. To give you that opportunity to be my friend first and foremost. Believe it or not, that's how things usally work because trying to establish a friendship AND a relationship at the same time is so fucking difficult. THAT was our problem..and I handed you this moment a silver platter. But fine, if you wanna think I'm a bitch for wanting something real and honest, which I now know you could never give me in a million years, no matter how many words you could try to use to get me to believe you, then fine. I'm the stuck up, pretentious bitch that grew a backbone and stood up for herself instead of putting up with a manwhore like you. That's right. ALLLL MY FAULT!! Poor you..

But fuck it. I'm done trying to make things work and try to explain to you. You won't listen. You never have. But you know.. I was and AM something real.. something you probably needed in your life too..however you can't grasp the meaning or any of those things which is why you could never, and will never obtain me.

Don't talk, just save your breath.