Who I am, Hates who I've been

"I'm keepin an eye on the world, but I'm turning my back on what I've become"

I'm doing exactly what I said I didn't want to do and it's really making me upset. Why? because I'm doing it to myself, I can't stand it.

So this will be brief, I'm sorry I never make any sense and confuse you all the time. That isn't what I want to do, I'm making things alot harder than they need to be. I'm sorry. I'm going to stop thinking with my head now and just listen to my heart. It's not as stupid and it's usually right.

So fine, usually what you read here confuses you because either 1. I'm confused or 2. I really don't want you to know so I purposefully make it confusing. Like The Da Vinci Code or some shit. I know you tell me I can tell you anything, but what I have that makes me not normal in my mind tells me otherwise. I can trust you and I should be able to communicate with you, about anything and everything. However I panic, I get scared and I just don't ever tell you. I leave you to try to decipher whatever the hell it was I'd just written. Again I'm sorry.

Bottom Line:
I'm listening to my heart not my head.
I'm sorry I confuse you intentionally and unintentionally.
It's never anything to do with you, it's always me.
I panic when I think about telling you things because I get scared.
I understand if I fucked things up with all of these stupid words.

The end. That's basically everything, simplified. I'm done talking for awhile now because I annoy myself. Cool.