The mistakes made them were easier to understand. Blergh. This is a self hating rant. It's okay. I'll get over it. I just miss the simple things. I miss knowing where to go in certain situations. I feel like a 4 year old who has lost their mom in a grocery store. I just want to curl up and cry for awhile until a strong hand comes and tells me "shush little girl, everything will be alright. I'll protect you and get you safe" however I'm not 4 anymore. This is a big world. No one is gonna come protect me. I need to own up and fix things all on my own. No matter how frightening. No matter if it doesn't matter. I need to do what is best for me. I don't want to be eaten from the inside out anymore. I know it's my own doing...but still. I don't have to let things conquer me. I can be strong and rise above them, but instead I choose to sit down and be silent. I always think its best. Who would want to listen to a 4 year old anyway? A confident girl of 17. The girl who isn't afraid to stand up for herself and her fears. THATS someone worth listening to. That's someone worth it. Period. And that's someone who I need to be. Someone I'm going to be. Someone I am. I know I am.
Believe in me?
No, wait. It's okay. I'll believe in me.
It's a place where I share my thoughts. Nothing is held back. I live to love and love to live. Don't be surprised.
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