It's a little bit funny...

Rant rant rant.

I honestly kinda laugh at the fact that you thought you were second best. I always felt....shit not even second best...like 6th or 7th best. I still feel that way. No matter how happy I would be and/or how much I would want to be with you, I know you would probably fair better off with one of many other girls who like you. They wouldn't make my mistakes, nor hide in fear. The most important reason? They wouldn't be me. That's why I always pushed you away. That's why I still push you away. EVEN when you're not even trying. I'm pushing the idea of you away. The idea other people are telling me. I'm coming up with every reason as to why not, rather than every reason as to why yes.

  It's not like you would even want to hear what I have to say anyway. WHICH is why majority of what is said is via any other way except directly to you. When I DO talk to you in person, I never say everything I want to because I don't think you actually listen.

I'm running low on time. I know I am. So why would I throw myself out there when I already know the outcome? I know what you will say and do. You've already said and done it. I don't want to jump off the ledge when I know there won't be anything at the bottom to catch me.

The odds of you even believing me are like a million to none anyways.

Blurb.

Alright, this is a rant. I am done.