I don't mean...

To make this about Adam but it's super late and I usually think about shtuff this late and I found my old journal and it's hilarious. The first page I opened to was all about this dream I had last year. Hahahah. I was so mad that he called me AGAIN the next night cause I said it wa his voice that made me dream about him. Crazy, I tell ya.

This book is interesting. I'm writing of two different things and people in my life..it's clearly written which way I should have gone, but even I couldn't see it. Oh well. It's funny how easily swayed by words I am though. I never needed actions. I mean, I do now...but..it's just funny to look at where I was a year ago and see where I am now.

Maybe I shouldn't read this...I found an entry from the day he decided to forgive me and try to be my friend...I was pretty excited apparently, but then it turned into the little things I missed. That happens when you spend time with someone I suppose. You realize how crazy you were to let them go. Hmmm.

Now it's how we were really going to try again and how hard it was going to be but "that's okay cause it's worth it. He's worth it. We can do it, I just know it." It's funny how sure I was. Then it jumps ahead a few months and it talks about how he's gone because I was too insecure. Isn't life funny? I go from Being elated that I'm just able to say hello, to having no clue what to do. Deep down I believe I did know, but hey what can you do?

Things haven't changed much. I have to laugh at the universe though. It seems no matter how hard we try to push one another away the universe decides to put us in situations together. I just hope I'm doing the right thing by ignoring what apparently is so obvious to everyone else but me. Hahaha.

Oh dear. Anyways, I'm sorry this is a stupid post. Not even worth reading. If you did okay cool. If not, okay cool. If you happen to know Adam...he doesn't need to know this is here cool? Cool.

I bought a new journal..so don't worry these thoughts won't be public anymore. We can all just relax. "aye it's gonna be okay. Hey we're gonna laugh at this one day"

Who knows.

Anyway, going to sleep now. I get to see STARSHIP tomorrow. I'm pretty excited.

Goodnight.