OH!

But my friend Babs got stern with me. She basically told me that I need to just say what I need to say.. EVEN if it doesn't do any good. EVEN if he hates you more. EVEN if he doesn't listen. EVEN if anything, because it will make YOU feel better. Once I say it, then if he still holds anger that's all on him. That's his problem if he can't let it go. I mean don't get me wrong I know all of this. I've shared most of this with her. In fact she is using my words against me...but I know how this game ends. He doesn't want to keep going in a cycle..but I just want the awkwardness to be over. I want to be able to look him in the eyes when I pass him in the hallway. MAYBE even smile, wave, say hi, hug just SOMETHING. I just. I really am defensless right now. I have no clue where to go from here. It's probably smart to go nowhere actually and not be concerned...but let's be honest..as much as he would love that...it's not my nature. But befriending him sometimes is like befriending a dementor. Pretty damn-near impossible. Or maybe I'm making it too hard on myself.

   However, she also said that even if it doesn't work right now in this moment in time...that doesn't mean it won't ever happen. Wanna know why? because the coolest thing you have is all the time in the world. You guys will come to your senses and work it out. I know you will. Sometime in life. He can't hate you forever, no matter how hard he tries.


So, I let all of that just sink in  I suppose. She makes good points. but...well who knows.

Anyway, I dunno why I shared this. I guess I was too lazy to go get my actual journal. haha.

Still a good night.
Smoot Margaritas and a nice chat. :)


Goodnight. Sweet Dreams.