So sometimes...

I'll just sit here and think about myself, and how I've turned out.

But right now..I'm sitting here about to turn 18 and I'm thinking about all that has happened in the past year.
I didn't think I would be any different, but so much has happened and I feel that I am.
I've lost a lot of very important/close people...and well...as much as it sucks..
Things happen, people change, people grow.

I'm going into this new month, this new year of life, and just this renewal of sorts.

I want to renew what I've lost. Renew who I've lost.
I don't just mean with Adam, because well... I haven't much hope there at the moment...
But I'm not fighting with him anymore.

I want to renew myself really. That's who I've really lost through this whole ordeal called life..
Along this past year..maybe years? (it coulda been a long time coming) ...
I don't even know what I'm saying.
I've just realized so much time has been wasted on pointless....everything.
I'm ready to just go back to normal.
This doesn't matter too much anymore.
This SHOULDN'T matter too much anymore.
Hmmm....
Okay. I'm going to renew myself and be the me I know me to be.
As for anything else, well...only time will tell.